Yesterday 22nd Sept 2015

6.45am time to get up.

7.00am I wake the children

7.15am I wake the children

7.20am I wake the children. Awe! Jeeze! I wish they would get up.

I start getting breakfast ready. Gradually both my children materialize. At last, I think.

Whilst my guys are having breakfast I make their beds and pick up all the discarded items strewn across their rooms.

My mum’s taxi driver phones me and asks if my mum will be going to the day care centre. I reply, “no”, explaining that I have not heard from anyone regarding what the outcome was for the arrears and the charges for the transport to the daycare centre.

I checked my e-mails and noticed that I had an e-mail from the financial assessment team. The e-mail  said that they did not know what the outcome of the discretionary panel was – “how depressing is that”?. It is really frustrating that we need to wait such a long time for this information, especially given that it was someone elses mistake and that we should have been notified of these charges immediately, not a year down the line.

Feeling fed-up now……… I was really hoping to have this matter resolved so that I would not have to keep thinking about it and so that we could get my mum back to the day care centre.

My children leave for school at 8am. I have a coffee and catch up with the morning news. I then check on my mum, she is awake, I raise her bed up, put the TV on and give her a drink of water (water in the morning is meant to help with her blood pressure).

Whilst I wait for my mum’s carer I prepare dinner (for the slow cooker), nothing like a beef curry to wash away my feelings of being fed-up, something to look forward too.

I then begin to get my mum’s clothes ready and also preparing the bathroom for my mum’s shower. The carer arrives at 9am, we put my mum on the commode and wait for ten minutes. We shower my mum and wash her hair, dress her and then ‘stupidly’ i decide to take her through to the livingroom to sit her on the sofa. It is now 9.45am.

I make my mum’s breakfast and feed her. I then make her some tea and toast. It’s now 10.50am.

Time for me to get ready.

I had to borrow some money to put towards the purchase of a washing machine, it has arrived, I m well delighted – hell – nothing like getting a working washing machine to catch up with the washing, this will definitely wash away the feelings of being fed-up – I must be getting old.

After spending an hour connecting the washing machine, I start the washing – whoop! whoop! – time to get rid of the mountain of washing. No more sore hands for me – happy days.

It is now 12 noon, I prepare lunch for my mum and I. After lunch I realise that I have a problem. My mum is sitting on the sofa I cannot walk her or change her, as there is no way I can stand her up. The stand aid and/or hoist will not fit round or under the sofa – I’m feeling a bit stupid now and feel really bad for my mum. She will desperately need changed by the time the children come home and help me stand her up. – what a clown I am. I could not even contact a neighbour as I stay in a rural location and there is no-one around to help.

I decided to call my mum’s keyworker to ask about the possibility of applying for funding, so that I can adapt my car. I also ask her about the possibility of a carer coming to help me get my mum into my car and then I could take my mum to the day care centre. My mum’s keyworker said that she would look into these options and that she would get back to me.

I began to think about costs and how it makesno sense at all – They are asking for my mum to pay £56.90 for her transport to the day care centre – we cannot afford this – so my mum cannot go to the daycare centre using this option.

Yet

If carers are put in place to help me get my mum into my car at my home and then put in place to help get her out of the car at the day care centre, with the same thing happening on the return journey, then surely, this will cost more than a £56.90 transport charge.

NO SENSE AT ALL – I CANNOT WORK IT OUT.

Trying to bend my mum and swing her round to get her into my car is going to be really undignified for her and risky for her and me – it does not make any sense that we may have to transport my mum in this way, especially given that the cost will be higher than the £56.90 transport charge.

Who knows how it all works.

I decided to clean the house and brush and mop the floors – I’m baffled at the amount of dog hairs i sweep up everyday. I will need to brush the dog and see if that makes a difference to the amount of hairs that he casts.

I make my mum a cup of tea and give her a biscuit with it. Mum’s tired today. I wish she was at the day care centre, there would be so much more for her to do.

4.00pm the children came home. Brilliant I can get mum up and change her pad and I can help her have a wee walk around the house. My daughter helps me to get my mum changed and then I begin the job of walking her. Mum’s walking was awful, she kept trying to sit down and I kept having to call my daughter to help me balance her. Maybe she had been sitting too long – probably – I ll not make that mistake again

At 5.20pm I receive a call from the man from the carers charity. This was regarding the car adaption, he has managed to obtain a quote for the adjustment and said that we are looking at paying £2500. He said he will try to find a way to fund this.

What a lot of money, you could get a new (well used) car for that. DEPRESSING OR WHAT.

I finish off the dinner, we ate at 6.00pm. The carer arrives half way through my mum’s dinner, which is fine, as I had perviously asked for the carers to at this time. There is nothing worse than having to get up, full of go, at 9pm, to change my mum and put her to bed, usually by this time I am ready for bed. We get my mum ready and then I finish giving my mum her diner.

Looking back – when my mum first came to stay with me I had asked for, early visits in the morning and as late as possible in the evening. However, it is only when you have someone like my mum living with you that you realise what the best times are for you and your family – it is not easy to get things right first time round, especially when you have young teenagers running around.

The carers are great they accommodate you as much as they can.

I helped my daughter with her homework, whilst chasing my son into a shower – not an easy job.

I have a bath – relaxing – peace and quiet – heaven.

It’s now 8.45

I asked my daughter to help me walk my mum through to her room, we changed her pad and then we sat her in her wheelchair, we put the hoist on her and put her into bed. Its 9.40. My mum always laughs when we put her to bed and I always wonder if it is a relief for her to lie down, it is almost as though she looks forward to getting into bed – So much so, it makes her laugh.

My son and daughter decide to play a game of cards (21’s). At 10pm we all go to bed – I am floored!!!!