Yesterday 25th Sept 2015

I wake up at 6.45am, I watch the news until 7am and then I wake up my children. They get up quite quickly today, that Friday feeling I think……

Today is an exciting day – My mum is going back to the day care centre. I am hoping it all works out and that we can manage to get my mum into my car, without any hassles, or accidents. I am so happy that my mum’s keyworker went to the effort to sort all this out for this week, as I am sure it would have taken a good bit of time.

I check on my mum, she’s awake, so I raise her bed and put on her TV and give her a glass of water. She looks very uncomfortable when her bed is raised, her chin touches her chest and her body angle looks all wrong hmmmmmm!!! She cannot voice this, but you can just tell that it must be extremely annoying for her. I try to move my mum into a more comfortable position, my mum gets cross, did she just swear??? It is great to see that little bit of fire.

I check on my mum again, I decide to lower her bed – she looks too uncomfortable, I wonder if it is because of the hunch she has developed on her upper back. She is so much smaller in height because of it.

My children leave at 8am, I wish my son good luck for his Biology exam, I so hope he passes – he has studied hard for it, so have I.

I make the beds and clean the rooms and then I make a cup of tea, for me. I am thinking that I should go back to exercising in the morning, after my children leave for school and before the carer comes, as I tend not to have time at any other point in the day.

The carer arrives at 9am, we try maneuvering my mum into a sitting position, but she is extremely resistant and does not appear very mobile, we put the sling on my mum and get her up using the full body hoist, we put her on the commode and leave her for a while.

We take my mum through to the shower room, we shower her and wash her hair, we dry her and get her changed. She seems to have perked up a bit and has moved her body forward of her own accord. We walk her through to the kitchen, she manages well and we sit her in her wheelchair.

The carer gives my mum her breakfast and dry’s her hair, whilst she is doing this I get washed and changed into my outdoor clothes – I am feeling under a bit of pressure as I don’t want to hold the carer back from her other duties. it is 10am by the time I am ready, I brushed my mums teeth, put her poncho on and then we wheel her up to my car.

I m feeling very anxious about maneuvering my mum into my car. I am worried that she might not be balanced enough. I do not want this to fail because that would mean no day care for my mum.

We open the passenger side door and wheel my mum close to the door. We stand my mum up and turn her so that she is facing away from the passenger door. We gently walk her backwards so that she is close to the passenger seat. I run around the car and climb over the driver’s seat, I wrap my arms round my mum’s waist and gently pull her backwards. The carer keeps my mum balanced and pushes down on my mum’s head so that my mum does not bash her head on the roof of the car – she is now seated. I get out of the driver’s side and run around to the passenger’s side I lift my mum’s legs up and turn them, and her, into the car – this bit is hard because the space is tight and my mum is pressing her feet hard on the passenger side door, I have to pry them off one at a time whilst bending her knees up high and manoeuvering them into the passenger side. PHEW! job done – my back is sore – it is 10.25am and the carer is running late aaargh!

I put my mum’s seat belt on and drive her to the day care centre – she looks very uncomfortable because she is not sitting properly on the seat – poor mum. How gracious my mum is to silently accept such undignified treatment, I wonder what she thinks and feels.

When I arrive at the day care centre I need to do the same, in reverse motion, to get my mum out of the car. The manager of the day care centre helps me. It is so kind of them to do this – they do not have too. He said that he is delighted to have my mum back, and that they have all missed her.

I realise that I have accidentally trapped my mum’s safety belt under the seat of her wheelchair, we stand her up and I sort this out, we sit my mum back in. My mum is laughing, my mum is happy.

I go back home it is time to clean, wash, dry, iron and prepare dinner. The house is quiet.

It is strange – when my mum is at home, no matter what I am doing, I am always thinking about her and I always feel the need to check on her. A complete distraction when I am concentrating or doing a chore, I never get to finish things.

I have been studying now for 13 years, it has always been part-time and via distance learning courses. I initially began studying so that I could obtain a good job, I completed my studies through part-time distance learning so that I was at home for my children and so that they had a close and normal attachment to me.

I began a new degree a few years ago and I got in at advanced entry due to my previous educational attainment. So far I have managed to complete one year of this degree, it has been a slow process and I have had to defer my studies because of my circumstances.

I am hoping to restart my studies in January 2016, which will incorporate a six month placement. However, this is looking a bit tenuous now, as I received an email from my tutor which said that he has contacted my local council to ask if I could go on a student placement starting in January 2016 – and the council have rejected this, saying unfortunately they have not got availability for a placement due to service pressures – that’s strange and worrying.

I telephoned my tutor and left a message for him to call me back, I am wanting to ask if this has happened before.

it looks like my tutor will have to try further afield which will mean a longer journey for me on each day that I am on my placement. What a nightmare, I will need to work out the logistics. I am also wondering if the local council will fund a care package for covering my mum, like they done in January 2015 when I was on placement.

Its 3.10pm – I need to go now and collect my mum.

I arrive home at 3.50pm and the private care firm are not due to arrive until 4pm oh! dear! I leave my mum in the car and go into my house to make her a cup of tea. By the time I make the cup of tea the carer has arrived. We swing, tuck and bend my mum’s legs out of the car. I go round and climb in the driver’s seat and push my mums back up whilst the carer gently pulls her forward, I climb out the driver’s side and run around to the passenger’s side and we gently stand my mum up. I get the wheelchair out of the back of the care and we put my mum into the wheelchair. The carer helps me wheel my mum into my house.

I retrieve the stand aid from the shed and I change my mum’s pad, During this, my children arrive home. They are very happy – no school tomorrow, long lies, no studying.

We have dinner, do the dishes and sit in the livingroom to watch TV

The carer arrives at 6pm and we wash and change my mum into her pj’s

Tonight we sit and watch TV for a while – relaxing – its great.

My mum looks tired, My daughter and me walk her to her room and change her pad we put her to bed at 9pm

I watch a movie and then go to bed.