Yesterday 2nd Oct 2015

My sister is coming today – whoopee!! I will get a break.

I wake up at 6.45am, I get the children up at 7am, the children leave for school at 8am.

The carer arrives at 8.30am and we get my mum ready for the day. I telephoned the doctors to ask if I should be giving my mum aspirin or if there is anything I can do to prevent my mum from having these mini strokes or TIA’s. The doctor said that someone should come out and check my mum and make sure her pulse rate etc…. is okay.

I cancel my mums day at the day care centre and we wait for the doctor. The doctor arrives at around 12pm. He checks my mum and says that everything appears to be fine. The doctor said that it is possible it was a major TIA or a mini stroke that my mum had yesterday. I explain to the doctor that an MRI scan had been done previously, to assess if my mum was having mini strokes and that it came back inconclusive, as the area of the brain that they check for mini strokes was so badly damaged, due to my mum’s Alzheimer’s, that they could not definitely say whether she had a mini stroke or not.

The doctor said that If my had a reoccurrence of yesterdays event, I could either, call out an ambulance, or I could wait and see if it clears and normalizes by itself. He explained that there is a 2 hour window in which my mum would be able to receive blood clot drugs, therefore, I would have to decide what I wanted to do right away. If I called out an ambulance they would need to take my mum to our nearest hospital, which is around one hour away, and they would need to carry out a CT scan to ensure that my mum had a blood clot in her brain rather than a bleed in her brain, before they gave her blood clot drugs.

My mum and I spent the rest of the afternoon in the garden relaxing, we had lunch and just chilled out all day. I felt drained.

My mum’s keyworker returned a call which I had made to her earlier today, I told my mum’s keyworker about my visit with my local MP. I explained about the situation with my mum over the last couple of days. I said to her that I hoped that all the strain of heaving my mum in and out of my car has not contributed to my mum having the mini stroke (TIA).

My mum has been really healthy over the last few months and it feels like a bit of a coincidence that she falls ill directly after the change in transport routines. I talk to my mum’s keyworker about needing to leave my son in whilst I take my daughter out to her activities etc… and explain that it would be great, if, as a family, we could go out and do things together. My mum’s keyworker said that she could possibly work something into my mums care plan which would allow me to take my children out, I thought that this was a great idea. Obviously this would be based on the availability of funding.

I telephoned my sister and asked her about, whether I should call an ambulance, or not, if our mum had another turn. We both agreed that I should call an ambulance. We spoke about the extent of my mum’s disability now, through having Alzheimer’s disease and we spoke about the long-term effect that a full-blown stroke could have on my mum – it is hard enough for my mum now, never mind, having further disabilities to deal with.

My children arrive home, we all had our dinner – I still felt drained.

The carer arrived and we washed my mum and we put her pj’s on and then I sit my mum on her chair in the livingroom.

My sister arrives, we sit and chat for a while. I go to bed. I am still feeling drained.

Yesterday 1st Oct 2015

Oh! What a day. I wish this day could be eliminated from the week.

I wake up at 6.45am. I wake my children. My children leave at 8am

It is now 9am – I am worrying, just in case, like yesterday, the carer does not arrive until later. I decide to get my mum up. I use the full body hoist and I place my mum on the commode. I leave her on the commode for 30 minutes. Still no carer…….

I went into my mums bedroom to check and see if she had done the toilet. I walked in…… and what a fright I got. My mum had slid down on the commode slightly, her skin colour was grey and her skin was extremely clammy looking, she had fluid dripping from her nose, her left eye was open but looked completely disoriented and her right eye was nearly shut. I rushed over to her, I was thinking, “has she had a stroke”, “should I call an ambulance”, then I think, “do not panic”, “get a glass of water and a tissue for her nose”, “assess the situation”, amongst all of this I am still thinking, “should I call an ambulance”, “test her grip”, “wipe her nose”, and “give her water”, – my head was like a freight train……………..

I wipe my mums nose and I gently talk to her, I give her sips of water and I stroke her head and still I gently talk to her. I try to hold her right hand and I try to move her right hand around my hand, I try to get her to grip my hand, she doesn’t. I give her another sip of water, I continue talking to her. Her nose has still got fluid dripping from it, I wipe it and I continue talking and I still try to hold her hand and I am still thinking should I call an ambulance. All these thoughts – what do I do?

My mum is like this for what felt like around 40 minutes. I looked at my mums face and noticed that the right eye, which had been nearly closed, had went extremely wide, this made my mum look as though she had a fright, on the right hand side of her face. Her other eye, although still a normal shape, still looked disoriented. I stayed with her and stroked her head. Eventually, both eyes normalized and her clammy skin had disappeared, however, she remained grey in colour.

I emptied the commode, which was half full – a major bowel movement. I tried to lift my mum up onto the commode, however, her body was still limp so I could not lift her. I then tried putting the sling for the full body hoist on my mum, this made my mum slip further off the commode. Because of this, I had to manage a controlled fall onto the floor. I felt terrible, worried, anxious and sad.

I lifted my mum from the floor using the full body hoist and placed her back on the commode, she still looked ill. I took her through to the shower and began showering her. I heard a noise, the carer arrived – thank god!

The carer helped me to finish showering my mum, we put on her clothes and then put her in her wheelchair. Although my mum was still grey looking she was beginning to respond better. I decided I would still take my mum to the day care centre. The carer and I hustled and bustled my mum into my car – I was thinking maybe I should have kept her at home……….. I dropped my mum at the day care centre and I explained what happened to my mum this morning and I asked for them to telephone me if they felt my mum needed to go home. The time is 12.00pm

My mum has had similar turns, although, this was the worst one I have seen yet. In the past she has normalized and has managed to function at her normal level.

After I had dropped my mum at the day care centre I went to the local supermarket and picked up a few messages for my friend. I then went to my friends to drop her messages off. It is now 2.00pm

Home time.

I arrived home and cleaned the house, I did not have a lot of time. At 3.15pm I left to collect my mum from the day care centre. They told me that my mum was not great in the morning, however, she perked up in the afternoon and was singing and swinging her arms to music. I was happy to hear this.

I took my mum home and the lady from the private care firm was waiting for me. We get my mum out of the car and take her into the house.

My children arrived home. I needed to rush,as I was taking my daughter to a horse riding lesson and she needed to be there for 4.45pm. I gave my son instructions and explained what happened with his gran that morning, I told him to call me if he was worried about gran and I go over emergency procedures if anything were to happen. I left with m daughter. I was worried. I felt bad. I was running late.

My daughter and I arrived at her horse riding lesson.

I called my son.
I called my son.
I called my son.

My daughter completed her lesson.

My daughter had a disco at her school starting at 7pm, she quickly changed into other clothes and off we went……. we arrived at her school at 6.30pm. I dropped her off and I drove to the local chip shop, I bought my son and my mum a chippy and then I went home. I gave my son his chippy and fed my mum hers. I grabbed a bowl of cereal.

The carer had arrived whilst I was out, so I needed to change my mum myself. I got the standaid out of the shed and I used it to help me, whilst I changed my mum into her pj’s, I put her to bed.

It’s now 9.30pm and it was time for me to go and collect my daughter from her school disco. I collected her and she said that she had, had a lot of fun. We went home and we all went to bed. I slept like a log.

.

Yesterday 30th Sept 2015

Another scorcher today – happy days.

However, my house is a mess and I will need to tidy today – sad days….. (I could tidy it quickly)

I wake up at 6.45am. I check on my mum and she is still asleep. I wake my children………….they go to school, it is 8am. I tidy their rooms and make their beds. I check on my mum and she is still asleep.

It is 9am and the carer has not arrived yet. I wait, I wait, I wait………….. I wait. It is now 9.40am. I decide to get washed and changed.

Still no carer.

I decide to get my mum up and ready for the day and I am hoping that the carer will arrive whilst I am doing this. I go to my garden shed and fetch the full body hoist. I put the sling for the full body hoist on my mum, and attach the full body hoist to the sling. It is hard going and I am roasting hot,  I raise my mum up and take her pyjama bottoms and pad off, this is not an easy task either. I lower my mum onto the commode. I leave her for ten minutes. The telephone rings. It is the carer,  he said that he was running late and that he would not arrive until 10.30am. I explain to him that I had already begun getting my mum ready and I ask him to call before he is due to arrive, as I might have my mum ready by then.

My mum is ready. The carer calls.

I dry my mums hair and I brush her teeth. I give my mum her breakfast and then I clean the house. My mum does not go to the day care centre today which means she can relax at home and watch me hustle and bustle around the house or in the garden.

The sun is shining.  I need to go out. I use the stand aid and transfer my mum from her chair in the livingroom to her wheelchair. I take my mum out into the back garden.

I receive a call from the human rights lawyer that I spoke to at the beginning of the week. He explained that his firm will not be able to deal with my mums case as they do not regularly deal with care home abuse cases. He asked me if he could give my details and the case details to another firm, a firm that they know and who regularly deals with care home abuse cases. I said yes.  I asked if they accepted legal aid cases. He said they did, however, it would be up to them to advise me if they felt my mum would be able to obtain legal aid.

Apparently, to receive legal aid you need to be able to prove that you can win substantial compensation. What is all that about???? To me that is another black hole which allows vulnerable people to be abused, especially those living in poverty, who cannot afford to take action against their abusers.

Everything feels unjust and unfair.

Back to the sunshine, back to my book.

I make lunch and then I feed my mum whilst I feed myself.

I have a missed call from my tutor, I call him back. We have a discussion about my up and coming placement. I asked my tutor what his thoughts are on me not being able to carry out my placement within my own local authority. He explains that sometimes local authorities cannot accommodate placements and he said that this is nothing to worry about. He then spoke about the logistics of me going to another area for my placement and I confirmed that I was willing to do this. He also spoke about balancing my caring role alongside my placement and said that he knew this would be difficult. I explained that I had done this before and that I felt able to do it again.

More sun……. My mum is beginning to look too hot. I stand her up and take her for a walk, I sit her in her wheelchair and I wheel her into the house, I stand her up and walk her to her chair in the livingroom I then I sit her in her chair and switch on the TV.This is not an easy thing to do as you are putting an awful lot of pressure on your back. My mum does nothing to help you during any of these processes, not because she does not want to she just does not know how too.

More sun…….

My children arrive home. I have a doctor’s appointment. I leave my son with his granny and take my daughter with me to the doctors. We collect a chinese meal on the way home. My son and daughter stand my mum up and they then sit her in her wheelchair. We all have dinner in the garden.

The carer arrives at 6pm. We wash my mum and change her into her pj’s. We lie my mum on her bed, on top of her covers as it is really hot, I raise the bed and put on my mums TV.

More sun……..

I do the dishes and then I make my mum a cup of tea. I sit with my mum in her room for a while. My mum is sleepy. It is 8pm. I put her bed into a lying position and leave the room.

I watch television and then go to bed.