Day 75 – Day 81

25th November – 2nd December

25th November

I woke up at 6.45am. I woke my children. I checked on my mum and she was fast asleep. My children left at 8am. I checked on my mum and she was awake. I put on her TV and I raised her bed. I gave her a glass of water. She was looking quite happy this morning. I said good morning and I stroked my mums cheeks, she looked at me and she smiled.

My mum s keyworker was visiting my mum today at 9am. I quickly tidied my house and then I changed into my outdoor clothes. I checked on my mum, she was lying quietly and staring into space. I tickled her feet and there was no response, I tickled them again and my mum lifted her feet up, she giggled and then smiled.

At 8.45am I saw my mums keyworkers car pull into my drive. I opened my door and I let her in. We chatted for a while. My mums keyworker said a few issues had been raised during the adult protection investigation. She said that the carer who was interviewed said that we were not using the equipment whilst changing my mum. She said that the occupational therapist would need to come out and re-train people on using the equipment.

I explained that when my mum was ‘more’ able and when I was one of the carers that I tended to stand my mum up and the local authority carer stood close by just in case my mum wobbled, I further explained that when my mum was ‘less’ able we used the equipment. I said that now that there were two local authority carers instead of myself and a local authority carer then it was up to them what they done and that all the carers knew where the equipment was stored. I also explained that I had seen the local authority carers taking the equipment into the house. I further said that it seemed that the carer who was being investigated seemed to be diverting away from the problem, which was her ability to care. I added in that all the carers minus this one carer were fantastic, they were professional, they looked after my mum well and that they should go up for an award for their level of service. I pointed out that all the other carers worked well with me and got on well with me and that there were no issues, which highlights the problems surrounding the carer being investigated.

The carers arrived at 9am. I said hello and walked them through to my mum’s room. I then went back to sit with my mums keyworker. What a busy house this morning.

Whilst I was chatting to my mum’s keyworker I received a call from my neighbour who explained that when she was leaving in her car that she had reversed into a car parked near my house and explained that there was a small bit of damage on the door. I asked the people in my house if the car described by my neighbour was theirs. It was my mum’s keyworkers car.

My mum’s keyworker left.

The carers said to me that my mum was quite distressed when they were using the standaid, I am hoping that this is not related to my mum screaming when the carers where in my house last Wednesday. Feeling annoyed.

I emailed my mum’s keywork and explained what the carers had said to me regarding my mum being distressed when they were using the standaid and that I hoped that this was not due to the incident that happened with the carer worker last Wednesday and that I would monitor my mum.

I then went over to my neighbours house and give her my mum’s keyworkers telephone number.

I made lunch for my mum and I. I then walked my mum around the house. I had real difficulty standing her up but after a lot of hanging on and lot of balancing, we got there. My back and shoulders were aching afterwards. I know it is not the correct thing for me to be doing considering the pain that I have in my shoulders. I have thought and thought and thought about this and decided that manouvering my mum and allowing her to keep her mobility for longer far is more important than me having sore shoulders. My mum’s diagnosis of Advanced Alzheimers means she has a very short life span and if keeping her mobile extends her life span then it is a ‘no brainer’, I do not even need to think about it.

I received an email from the financial assessment officer from my local authority who explained that I cannot appeal the decision made by the discretionary panel and that their decision was final. What a joke, however, it was not an unexpected response.

Today was the day that I had arranged an appointment with a mobility car company. The man arrived at 11am. I was hoping to be able to trade in my private car for a wheelchair access car. What a disappointment as they would only give me £2500 for my car which would not nearly be enough to cover the cost of a wheelchair access car.

I contacted my doctors surgery and I left my number for the doctor to call me back to give me the results of the bloods that had been taken from me and also to give me the results of the ultra sound scan that I had done the week before.

I contacted the blue badge department to ask if they now had all the correct information and to ask if they would be able to send me a blue badge, so that parking my car would be easier, when I had my mum in the car. The lady was really helpful. She checked my information and then said she would call me back. Around half an hour later she called me back and said that they had all the information they required and that if I paid a £20 pound charge over the phone they could send out the blue badge. I paid the charge and she said that I would have the blue badge within 7 – 14 working days.

I decided to spend some time going over the scoping letter which was sent to me by the complaints department of my local authority, regarding my mums arrears and the expected transport costs. I emailed some corrections to the complaints officer.

Later the complaints officer called me and said she had made the amendments, she went over these with me and then sent me an email confirming the points.

I changed my mum’s pad and then sat her in the chair in the living room.

I asked my friend to look after my mum.

I collected my children early from school today as we all had appointments at the dentists. I needed a filling and both my daughter and sons teeth were looking good. I felt proud. As a child I had lots and lots and lots of fillings, therefore, it made me feel good that my children are taking good care of their teeth.

We drove home. I prepared dinner and then we all ate dinner. The carers arrived and changed my mum into her pjs. They then took her through to the living room and then sat her in her chair.

I began working out my finances in preparation for Christmas. I had already began purchasing items for Christmas and I was hoping that I would be able to afford the rest of the presents that I needed to buy.

After shuffling my finances around and working out what payments I could put off until Jan/Feb time, I asked my daughter to help me walk my mum through to her bedroom, we changed her pad and we put her to bed and then I went to bed.

I could not sleep……..

26th November

I woke up at 6.45am. Although I feel better within my self my shoulders are still throbbing. I woke my children and then I checked on my mum. She was still asleep. My children left at 8am. I checked on my mum, who is still in the land of slumber.

The carers arrived at 9am. They washed my mum and then they changed her into her. Whilst they were feeding her breakfast I got ready for the day.

The carers wheeled my mum up to my car and then they helped me put my mum into my car. It is such a strain and I am feeling that I cannot keep doing this as I am feeling extreme pain in my arms and shoulders when I am trying to get my mum’s feet into the foot well of the car. It so depressing.

I drove my mum to the day care centre and then I drove home.

I telephoned the Citizen Advice Centre and asked them for advice  regarding the outcome of the discretionary panel. They sound fairly shocked regarding the outcome. They made many suggestions alongside recommending that I contact my Local Councillor and seeking advice from the ombudsman. I explained that I had contacted my Local MP. The lady explained the difference between an MP and a Councillor – you learn something new every day. I did not realise the difference and the importance of these differences.

I contacted my local councillor – he contacted the welfare rights team based within my local authority and asked them to contact me to ensure that as a family we were getting all the support that we were entitled too. He said he would look into the issues surrounding the arrears that the local authority say my mum has and also the £56.90 transport costs, however, he said that since I had made a formal complaint and that I had also complained to Audit Scotland that he might not be able to help.

I contacted the ombudsman to seek advice regarding my existing complaint with my local authority. They said that after I have been through to full complaints procedure that I should then contact them, sending them the full outline of my complaint.

A lady from the Welfare Rights Team called me and we discussed all the support that my family received, she explored the different types of support that I could apply for, some of which I was not aware of, this was extremely helpful.

I picked my mum up from the day care centre. When we arrived home a carer was waiting who helped me get my mum out of the car and then we took her into my house.

I prepared dinner and then we ate dinner. I washed the dishes and my son finished feeding my mum.

The carers arrived and changed mum into her pjs. My mum was exhausted so the carers put my mum to bed, they raised her bed and turned on her tv.

My mum did not fall asleep so I made my mum a cup of tea and sat with her for a while.

I went for a nice hot bubble bath.

We all went to bed.

27th November

I woke up at 6.45am. I woke my children. I checked on my mum and she was fast asleep. My children left at 8am. I checked on my mum and she was still asleep. I cleaned my children’s bedrooms and then I made myself a cup of tea. Lately, I have been thinking that I will need to begin my exercise regime again. When the double up of carers was a ‘hit’ and ‘miss’, due to staff availability, I had found it hard to maintain my exercise regime, however, now that things seemed more settled and each morning two carers had arrived I was thinking that I should be able to exercise again.

The carers arrived at 9am, they washed my mum and they dressed my mum. Whilst they gave her breakfast I got ready for the day. During this, the lady from the Welfare Rights Team contacted me and said that she had filled out the forms that needed filled in for me to obtain extra support and needed to ask me some questions so that she could complete the forms.

This surprised me as I never realised that she was going to fill them in as I thought she was going to post them to me for me to fill in. I was delighted, as I am so fed up of filling in forms and writing complaints, that another form may have taken me weeks to fill in. It is nice to see the positive side of organisations, whereby, a person within a team of an organisation is proactive, understanding, efficient and thoughtful.

Once the call was over myself and the carers took mum to my car, we put her in and then I drove her to the day care centre. Then I drove home.

I began making scotch broth soup. Two people came to my house to service my mums equipment, again they were lovely and chatty. The equipment passed the assessment.

I cleaned the house.

My local Councillor contacted me to ask how I got on with the Welfare Rights Team.

The doctor called me and explained that all my bloods had came back normal, however, he asked me to make an appointment to go in and see him regarding my shoulder pain and said that he may make a referral to an Orthopaedic doctor. I made an appointment, the first appointment was for next Tuesday. I then decided to find out what an Orthopaedic doctor was.

I collected my mum from the day care centre, whilst there the community mini bus driver asked me what my address was, I am hoping that they will begin driving my to and from the day care centre.

I drove home, the carer helped me take mum into the house.

I prepared dinner and then we ate dinner.

The carers arrived and changed my mum into her pjs. Then they sat her in her chair in the living room.

My sister arrived, my sister took over – now I can have a break …….

28th November

I had a long lie today, it felt like heaven, it felt good. I did not want to get up out of my bed. I nipped downstairs and made myself a coffee, I went back to bed, drank my coffee and read my book.

Later I went back downstairs and sat around my living room, watching tv, chatting with my sister and chilling out.

I made us all lunch and then I washed the dishes. I went upstairs and began sorting out all of my paper work, which has been desperately needing done. I collated all the information that I needed for the complaint that I have been asked to send to the ombudsman.

I then made everyone their dinner. We ate dinner, my sister feed my mum and I feed myself. My sister washed the dishes.

Later, after my mum went to bed my sister and I watched a movie and then we went to bed.

29th November

I woke up at 6am and began getting everything ready for the day. My daughter had a riding competition today. I woke my daughter. My sister woke up and said that she was going to drive her car down to the bottom of my hill as the forecast said that it was going to snow today.

My daughter and I left the house, we picked up one of my daughters friends and then we picked up another of her friends, we drove to the garage as my car needed fuel and then we drove to the field where the horses are kept, I was running late – again!

ITS SNOWING AAAAARGH! I hate driving in the snow.

We arrived at the field and I sat in the car….. So lazy, but it was so cold. All the children helped prepare the horses for the riding competition, I watched them from the car and thought ‘the poor little sausages’……

My sister was travelling back to Glasgow today so I telephoned her to let her know that the snow was heavy and that it was lying on the roads. She decided to leave my house early, she felt extremely guilty about leaving my son in, on his own, with our mum, however, after a conversation about safety on the roads, it was decided that our mum was safe where she was, with my son and that it would be safer for her to travel earlier and get home before the road freezes – it was the best choice as the weather became worse as the day wore on.

My sister left early.

My daughter competed in the competition and was placed 5th in one round and 6th place in another round, she was delighted, all the group received a rosette, we left cold and happy.

My sister telephoned me and she was petrified, the driving conditions were shocking. She had yet to arrive home.

I called my son and he did not answer the phone. I called again and again and again. Aaaargh! I hate when this happens because now I feel worried.

My daughter and her two friends drove to the horses field, they were feed and tended too, then we left, homeward bound. My son called me and asked me what I wanted – relief…..

I dropped my daughters friends off and then I drove home. Once I was home I asked my daughter to help me change my mums pad. I then took my mum a walk around my house and then I sat her on her chair in the living room.

I made dinner and then we ate dinner. I washed the dishes. The carers arrived and they washed my mum and changed her into her pjs. Mum had a bowel movement and was very tired looking, I asked the carers to put my mum to her bed.

My friend had left a couple of frantic messages on my phone, she could not get home because of the snow, she was snowed out of her home. I told her to come to mine and to stay with me until she could get back home. My friend arrived cold and miserable. I gave her some pjs and a nice hot bowl of scotch broth soup.

Bedtime…

30th November

I woke up at 6.45. I woke my children. I checked on my mum and she was fast asleep. It had snowed heavily throughout the night and the school mini bus could not make it up our hill to pick my children up for school. My children got a day off school. I decided that my mum should stay off from the day care centre as the roads looked awful and I did not want to take the risk of driving to the day care centre.

The carers arrived at 9am, they washed and dressed my mum and then they gave her breakfast.

I cleaned my house. My friend left for her work. I began going through the ombudsman complaints form. It was a short form, however, I had to think about what to write and I had to re-live the memories of when my mum came home from the care home with 28 bruises on her body, this was very upsetting for me.

I had a break and during this break I made lunch for everyone. We ate lunch and then I washed the dishes. I asked me daughter to help me change my mum’s pad and then I walked my mum around my house. After this I sat my mum on her chair in the living room.

I went back to my complaints form, once I had completed the form I printed off all the correspondence from the people who dealt with our complaint at that time. I set all the information out and wrote notes on the correspondence, so that it made sense, to anther person reading it.

The carer arrived to help me get my mum out of the car, I apologised as I had forgotten to send her a message to tell her not to come. She helped me change my mum’s pad.

I began preparing dinner. My friend arrived back explaining that she still could not get home. It is lovely to have some adult company. We ate dinner and then sat and relaxed in the living room. My friend helped me to walk my mum through to her room and we put my mum to bed.

I completed collating all the complaint information together and placed it all in an envelope ready for posting.

Then I had a nice hot bath. It was extremely relaxing.

Later we all went to bed. I woke up through the night feeling sick, however, I managed to fall back asleep.

 

1st December

I woke up at 6.45. I woke my children. I checked on my mum and she was fast asleep. There had been a heavy snow fall through the night and the school mini bus could still not make it up our hill to pick up my children for school, another day off school! I decided that my mum should stay off from the day care centre again, as the roads still looked awful and I did not want to take the risk of driving to the day care centre.

The carers arrived at 9am, how they managed to get up my hill is beyond me. What a risk they take to ensure a vulnerable person’s needs are met. I ‘take my hat off to them’. They do a great job. They washed my mum and then they dressed my mum and then they gave her breakfast. The carers left.

My friend left for work, I asked her to post my letter to the ombudsman.

I had an appointment with my doctor today, so that he could go over the results of my ultra sound. I took the car onto the road and began driving to the doctors, half way there I was wishing that I had cancelled my appointment, the roads were horrific and had not been ploughed. The doctor said that he had decided to refer me to an Orthopaedic doctor and that they would decided what to do with my shoulder. I left. I went to the shops and bought some food and milk and some cake, I needed some cake. I really felt like cake. I drove home, my car was skidding and struggling to go up my hill, however, I got there and I was glad to be home.

My son had stayed in with my mum, when I arrived home he was sitting with her in the living room giving her a cup of tea. I felt bad that he is always burdened with the task of looking after his granny. I wonder if he resents it or if he is happy to endure this task. I should ask him, however, I know he will say it is fine. He always does!

The children went sledging and I cleaned my house. I then went to into my attic and looked out my box of Christmas decorations. I checked to see what presents I had already bought for people and wrote down what I still needed to buy. Depressing and worrying, I really want everyone to have a lovely Christmas.

I made lunch for my mum and I. We ate lunch and then I washed the dishes. My children arrived back home. I made them a snack and a cup of hot chocolate.

Then I asked my daughter to help me walk my mum through to her room. We sat my mum on the commode.

The carer who helps me get my mum out of the car at 4pm sent me a message and asked me if I needed her to come today, I had forgot to message her again, I sent her a message saying that we did not need her. Maybe I should be tested for Alzhiemer’s.

I received a call from my mums keyworker, she asked me if I had cancelled the carers 4pm visits on a Wednesday, a Saturday and a Sunday. I said to her that I thought that I was not allocated visits on these days as my mum did not go to the day care centre on those days. It appears that I should be getting visits on these days, a bit of a mix up. My mums keyworker said that she would look into this and that she would get back to me as my mum should have been getting visits on these days at 4pm.

I began preparing dinner. The carers arrived just as I was putting our dinner out. The carers took my mum through to her room, they changed my mum into her pjs and then brought her through to the kitchen table. I had finished my dinner, I then began to feed my mum. I asked my children to wash the dishes.

My friend arrived from her work, she ate her dinner and then we sat chatting for a while. My friend helped me put my mum to bed. I watched tv for a short while and then I went to my bed.