Day 89 – Day 95

9th Dec – 15th Dec

9th Dec

I woke up at 6.45am. I woke my children. I checked on my mum and she was fast asleep. My children left at 8am. I cleaned my children’s bedrooms. I checked on my mum and she was still fast asleep. The carers arrived at 9am and began to get my mum ready for the day.

I telephoned Audit Scotland to find out how my complaint was progressing, I was told that someone would call me back.

The carers gave my mum her breakfast whilst I got ready for the day. The cares left.

I wheeled my mum through to the living room and I switched on the TV for her.

I began putting together a spreadsheet, outlining the support that I am going to need when I begin my placement for a University degree that I am trying to complete. It is taking forever to complete this degree as I have had to defer my studies for two years in a row due to my caring roll and illness. Maybe, next year I will manage to complete another year of my degree.

It will take a while to complete the placement schedule as I need cover from my caring duties from January 2016 until June 2016. I had a think about what family and friends I could contact to ask for help. This is so that the support I will need from my local authority will not be over the top. I was feeling worried and I wondered if they would be able to provide the support that I will need in order to complete my placement. Only time will tell.

I received a letter from the hospital telling my that I have an appointment with the orthopaedic consultant. This is to discuss my shoulder and arm pains. What a nightmare, as the appointment is scheduled whilst I am on placement. I will need to ask for a day off and I have not even begun the placement. Stress aaaargh!

My mums keyworker emailed me regarding an event called ‘cares choices carers voices’, I read the leaflet and I found it difficult to understand. I was not too sure what it was all about. I telephoned the number listed on the leaflet and I left a message asking them to call me back. Maybe they can enlighten me and tell me all about ‘carers choices carers voices’.

My mums keyworker emailed me again and said that she would contact the older peoples mental health team and find out what they can offer my mum. She also confirmed that she had arranged for therapist vouchers to be sent out to me and also respite vouchers. Both arrived with the post today.

I made my mum and I lunch, I fed my mum, as I fed myself. I washed the dishes and then using the standaid I changed my mums pad.

I cleaned my house.

My children arrived home from school at 4pm. I asked my daughter to help me stand my mum. We walked my mum around my house and then we sat her in her chair in the living room.

I began preparing dinner.

We all ate dinner. The carers arrived and changed my mum into her pjs and then they sat her in the living room.

I received no call back from Audit Scotland hmmmmm!

I began moving all my books for my studies upstairs to my bedroom. Fortunately, my bedroom is big and has ample room for a desk and chair, it is quiet and peaceful, all the better for studying.

My daughter helped me walk my mum through to her bedroom, we changed her pad and we put her to bed. I watch TV for a short while and then I went to bed.

My shoulder is not as sore as it was and I am managing to get a good nights sleep.

10th Dec

I woke up at 6.45am. I woke my children. It is snowing today Oh! No! I am hoping that my children will be able to get to school. I checked on my mum and she was fast asleep. My children left at 8am. They never came back so the bus must have picked them up. Just in case, I called my daughter to check that they had been picked up okay. They had been picked up and were down at the second bus stop waiting for their next bus to take them to school. Phew! Thank god for that. I cleaned my children’s bedrooms.

The carers arrived at 9am and began getting my mum ready for the day. Whilst they done this I got myself ready for the day. After my mum had eaten her breakfast we wheeled her to my car and then we put her into my car.

I drove my mum to the day care centre. I asked the lady from the day care centre if there was any news regarding the mini bus picking my mum up and taking her too and from the day care centre, the lady had not heard anything. She had said that the transport service was possibly going to be picking my mum up and taking her to the Christmas party next Tuesday, for free, as all the other residents were getting free transport on that day. This was being discussed further between all the relevant people.

I received a letter from the Ombudsman saying that they would not be able to progress with my complaint – how depressing – elderly vulnerable people like my mum are so unprotected and I cannot understand why this is the way it is, it baffles me. I wonder if I am the only person that sees it this way, or do others, and they just do not say it or complain about it.

I contacted Audit Scotland again and asked why no-one had returned my call. The woman who answered the phone knew my name, hmmmm! and she said that she was sorry that no-one had called me back and that she would pass the message on again and that someone would call me back today.

I received an email from my mums keyworker telling me about a fuel poverty workshop, however, I cannot go to this, as I will be on my University placement when the workshop takes place.

I received another email from my mums keyworker saying that she had spoke with the wheelchair people regarding an application for my mum to obtain a motorized pack for her wheelchair and that they are going to send me a referral form. She explained that they have had some kind of system failure and this is why I have not received a referral form before now. I emailed her back and asked if she thought that they might be able to fast track the referral, given the length of time it has taken to send out the referral form. Given, that I had requested a referral for a motorized pack when my mum first moved in with me, which was well over a year ago.

I telephoned my friends and family and asked for help during my placement. My sister can cover one week in April, my dad can cover 4 weeks in total and my brother can cover one week in April. My friend can cover everyday from 3.30pm until I get home at 6.30pm. I updated the schedule to reflect what help I can get during the months of January and June.

I made lunch for mum and I. I fed us both and then I washed the dishes. I began to clean my house.

My children arrived home from school at 4pm.

I made dinner for us all, we ate dinner and then my children washed the dishes. Two carers arrived and they changed my mum into her pjs.

Audit Scotland had still not called me back, I wondered why. I am losing hope of any fair resolution to my complaint.

I watched TV for a while and then I asked my daughter to help me with my mum. We walked her through to her bedroom and changed her pad and then we put my mum into her bed.

Bedtime for us all. Still no pain in my shoulder and arm.

11th Dec

I woke up at 6.45am. I woke my children. It had been snowing through the night. I checked on my mum and she was fast asleep. My children left at 8am.

My mum was not at the day care centre today as the snow began to fall extremely heavy and outside my house looked a bit like winter wonderland. If my car got stuck in the snow I would not be able to get my mum home, without, help from the emergency services.

The carers arrived around 9am. They washed and changed my mum and then they gave her breakfast. The cares left.

I contacted the Ombudsman and after around one hour discussing my complaint with the lady on the telephone she said that she would pass my complaint onto a colleague and that they would investigate my complaint a bit further and then decide if they can take it forward. Again I am losing hope of any fair resolution to another complaint that I have registered.

I contacted Audit Scotland again and the lady said that someone will call me back. A little while later I received a call whoop! whoop! at last. The lady from Audit Scotland said that she would contact the auditor today and she would hopefully get back to me within the next couple of days hmmmm! She said that they cannot deal with individual cases and would only be doing a full audit if other people had registered similar complaints.

I cleaned my children’s bedrooms. I then I made lunch for mum and I.

I telephoned my practice teacher to gain some information regarding my up and coming placement and also to find out which day will be my study day. This was so that I could include this day in my schedule of support, as I will not need cover for my mum on that day. My practice teacher was extremely helpful and sounded very friendly.

My children arrived home at 4pm. The carer arrived and we changed my mums pad.

I made dinner and we ate dinner. The carers arrived and put my mums pjs on, then they sat my mum on her chair in the living room.

It is my weekend off. My sister had travelled by train to my house, as she did not want to drive in the snow. I don’t blame her, I would have done the same. I picked her up from our local train station, at around 8.15pm. My sister took over our mum.

Time for me to have a break.

I had an early night tonight, I was feeling extremely tired.

12th Dec

I woke up at 6am. My daughter had a riding competition. We left at 7.30am.

My daughter and I spent the day with horses, it was cold but fun. We arrived back home at around 4.30pm. My sister had prepared dinner. We all ate dinner. My sister fed my mum. It was great to be able to eat my dinner without feeding someone at the same time.

I spent the rest of the day cleaning my room and chilling out on the sofa. After my mum went to bed my sister and I decided to watch a movie, we began to download the movie that we wanted to watch. 10 minutes later and the movie was still downloading. 20 minutes later and we were still waiting. 30 minutes later and we were still waiting. I gave up and I went to bed. AAAAARGH!

13th Dec

I had a long lie, I woke up at 9.15am. I made a coffee and went back to bed. Later, I went downstairs and chatted with my sister and then I made us some poached egg on toast. I drove to the shops to get some messages, we were out of milk and my electricity key was running low.

I drove home and my sister made us all a cup of tea.

Then I began making some home-made vegetable soup.  What a beautiful smell. I ponder whether or not to make home-made bread. I decided not to bother. Instead, I made brandy snaps and queen cakes, I just love home-made food it always tastes so much better than ‘bought in’ food. I will need to cut down in my food intake, the cold weather is making me eat and eat and eat.

My sister normally leaves at around 4pm on a Sunday. Because my sister travelled by train she would not be leaving until 6pm.

Earlier in the week I had arranged for someone to look after my mum between 4pm and 7pm today as I had planned to take my children out for a while. Oh! Dear! What to do!

Taking my children out today became a problem. The first problem was I had an overlap of care due to the time of my sisters train and the second problem was that I could not get my car up the hill next to my house because the ground was like a sheet of ice. Hmmmmm! What to do about the carer who was due to come to mine at 4pm.

I decided to keep the arrangement in place as I had decided that whilst the carer sat with my mum I would wrap up some Christmas presents. Also, it was a new carer and it would give her time to get to know my mum.

My friends husband picked my sister up at 5.30pm and took her to the train station.

The carer left at 7pm.

I watched TV for  a while and then I asked my daughter to help me to walk my mum through to her bedroom, we changed her pad and then we put her to bed.

We all went to bed.

14th Dec

I woke up at 6.45am. I looked out of the window and everywhere was white, we had an extremely heavy snow fall through the night. I left my children sleeping. I sent a message to the bus driver asking if he would be picking my children up for school. I checked on my mum and she was fast asleep. The driver got back to me saying that he would not be making it up my hill, it was too icy and slippery, therefore, he would not be picking my children up for school. A day off school, my children will be delighted. Me – not so much………

I received a telephone call from the home care office, they said that the carers would not be arriving until 11am, this was due to staff being off and the weather conditions. I said that this was fine and I explained that the carers might have difficulty getting to my house, due to the weather conditions. I said that if they did not manage that my daughter and I would manage my mum. I checked on my mum and she was still sound asleep – lucky mum.

I received another telephone from home care saying that one of the carers who was scheduled to come at 11am would not be able to make it, as the roads, where she was coming from, were horrendous. They explained that one carer was on their way to me now and they asked if could help. I said that this would be fine. The carer arrived, we washed and dressed my mum. The carer fed my mum her breakfast.

I contacted the day care centre and I said that my mum would not be in today as we were snowed in. The lady said that they had arranged for my mum to get picked up tomorrow by a wheelchair access taxi, free of charge, for the Christmas party, I said that this was great and I assumed that this would be weather dependant.

I asked the lady from the day care centre if they were any further forward with arranging for the mini bus to pick my mum up and drop her off from the day care centre. She said she had not heard anything about this and did not know if it was going to happen or not. I asked her who I could contact to find out this information and she gave me the number for a lady who sits on the board from the community council. I dialled the number, no answer.

My daughter came through to the living room with a pair of summer trousers on, a ski jacket, a furry hat on her head, a pair of plimsoles on her feet and a water bottle in her hand and said that she was going up to her friends house to go sledging. I told her to get changed and she said, “no mum, I am fine like this”. She is lovely and crazy ‘my little girl’. I told her she was going nowhere unless she had her snow suit on her body and snow boots on her feet. She promptly changed into appropriate clothing and then left to meet her friend.

I received an email from my mums keyworker explaining that my mum was going to be picked up, free of charge, for the Christmas party and that this was only going to happen as a ‘one off’.

I completed my placement schedule and I emailed this to my mums keyworker. My mums keyworker emailed me back and asked me what the arrangements were going to be for my mums transport to the day care centre when I was away on my placement. I emailed her back saying that I have asked for the mini bus to pick my mum up on the Monday and the Tuesday, however, I am waiting for them to get back to me and that if it turned out that no-one could take my mum to the day care centre then I would have to re-do my placement schedule to reflect this.

I telephoned the lady who sits on the board from the community council. I wish I had not. What an abrupt and unfriendly manner she had, maybe this is just how she sounds – who knows! As soon as I said who I was and why I was phoning she went into a torrent of excuses why they could not pick my mum up using the mini bus. She said that a drivers assessment was carried out and that the two mini bus drivers who went out to my house, in a car, said that there was no way that they would be able to pick my mum up, this was due to turning space etc…. etc…

I said to her that this was strange as a mini bus came to my house and picked my children up for school and that they had no problems. She said that it must be a different type of bus. She said that there was no way that they could do it and that it had been assessed. I asked her to send me out a copy of the drivers assessment. She asked why. I said to her that I would like to read through it. She said that this was an unusual request and that she would have to consult with the other committee members. I asked her when she would be able to get back to me regarding my request. She said before Christmas.

So this is it, from January 2016 my mum will be excluded from her community and society in general, we cannot get her out, apart from to sit in my garden, with the birds and the other little garden animals. What a life, what a society.

Just because I have opted to care for my mum my life and my children’s lives have now become extremely disadvantaged, we cannot prosper and we now need to live a life begging for help and reliant on disjointed services. My poor poor mum, who has gave so much to society, is now being exiled from her community and the society she gave so much too, when she could.

I tried to telephone my mums keyworker to make her aware of the situation with the community bus. An automated voice informed me that there was no-one available to take my call. I sent her an email asking for her to call me.

I made lunch for everyone and then we ate lunch. My mums keyworker called and I explained the situation surrounding my mum and the transport to the day care centre.

I contacted the lady who sits on the community council and asked her to call me back. I wanted to ensure that the drivers had went to the correct address as an oil tanker can get to my house and also my house sits on a ring road which means the community mini bus would not have to turn but could drive right round the ring road and get back onto the main road. I was also going to suggest that I could wheel my mum up to the road end, if it made it easier for the mini bus driver.

I called another person who sits on the community council and I explained my mums situation, I asked if he could represent my mum at the next community council meeting. The man I spoke with asked me to email him the details. I emailed him.

I received an email from the complaints department from my local authority saying that I would receive the outcome of my complaint within a couple of days. I emailed back and said this was fine.

I took the dog for a walk, he loved the snow and ran and jumped and dug his snout under the snow.

Once home I began making dinner for everyone, my daughter arrived with her friend, her friend was staying overnight.

When I was making dinner the home care office called to say that they would not be able to double up on the care for my mum, on some occasions this week, due to sickness. I said that this was fine. I was extremely aware that I should be marking this down, however, I was holding my phone with my shoulder, I was making dinner and I was trying to feed my mum all at the same time. Tonight I wanted to eat my dinner without having to feed my mum at simultaneously.

My shoulder feels better, lets hope that it stays that way.

The lady from the community council called me whilst I was on the phone to home care, I called her back. I asked her about whether or not the drivers had came to the correct address and I explained about the oil tanker and the ring road. She said to me that the drivers decision was final as they were volunteers and if one said no then no it would be. She also said that the decision needed to be between the day care centre and the drivers. I said that I would be willing to push my mum to the road end and I asked her if I should put this to the tryst to see what they will say. She said its up to you however the drivers decision is final.

I got the impression from this lady that they just do not want to travel to my area to pick my mum up. I know that the road is fine for a mini bus to pick my mum up. I have ‘heard’ that this kind of situation has arisen before and that the community council were adamant at that time that the community mini bus was not going to be travelling to my area. I wonder!

What a day, what a life, what a mess…………..

The carers arrived and they changed my mum into her pj’s. They then sat her in the living room. We all ate dinner and then I washed the dishes.

All the children went outside and sledged down our hill in the dark. They came back wet, cold, with red noses and big smiles, looking for hot chocolate and squishy cream and marshmallows.

I watched TV for a while and  then I asked my children to help me put my mum to bed. We all went to bed.

15th Dec

I woke up at 6.45am. I looked out of my kitchen window and the ground was still white, however, no fresh snow had fallen, this meant that my children would be going to school. Whoop! Whoop! Also, I am hopeful that the taxi will be able to pick my mum up and take her to the Christmas party at the day care centre. I wake my children. I checked on my mum and she was awake. I raised her bed and I gave her a glass of water. My mum looked a bit sleepy so I did not turn on her TV.

The carers schedule indicates that the carers will be arriving at 9.30am. This would not leave enough time for my mum to get washed and changed in time for the taxi which was meant to be arriving at 10am. As soon as my daughter was ready for school I asked her if she could help me to get my mum out of bed and on to the commode. My mum was soaking, both her top and bottoms were ringing wet – my daughter did not look happy. However, she helped me anyway and we put my mum onto the commode.

The bin that holds all my mums used pads was full, I emptied the contents of the bin into two bags and when my children left for school I asked them to carry the bags up to the bins at the end of our road. I was not in my children’s good books today, oh! dear!

I checked on my mum, she was looking very pale. I left her a little while longer. A carer arrived, it is 8.50am.  The carer explained that she was the only carer on shift this morning. We washed my mum and we dressed my mum. The carer fed my mum breakfast whilst I got ready for the day. The carer left. I brushed my mums teeth and put on her poncho, I placed a Santa hat on her head and a red glittery scarf round her neck. My mum is ready to go. I looked out of the window and I though that maybe the taxi would not come as my drive and the road look awful, slushy, slippery and snowy, hmmmm!

The time is 9.45am. I decided that I should begin wheeling my mum up the garden path. The journey begins. I pushed her wheelchair down the ramp, it was covered in snow, my progress was slow. Eventually, we reached the driveway and I began to push the wheelchair up my drive, the wheelchair did not budge, there was too much snow. I turned the wheelchair around and I began pulling the wheelchair backwards, that worked better. The taxi driver arrived. He could not drive down the slop to the front of my driveway, as it was to slippery, so he parked on top of the small hill. He walked down to my drive and together we pulled my mums wheelchair up my driveway. Slowly, we managed to pull and push my mum and her wheelchair up the drive and up the hill and eventually we got her into the taxi. I am feeling delighted that she is going to her party.

Once the taxi was safely away I walked down to my house, I put on the dogs lead and I took him for a walk in the field next to my house, I was puffed out by the time I got home walking up a hill in the snow is exhausting, I must be getting old aaaargh!

I cleaned my house and then I wrapped some more Christmas presents. I heard a car tooting its horn, my mum is home. I put my jacket on and I went out to help the taxi driver, I am absolutely dreading pushing my mums wheelchair down the hill, as it is like an ice rink now. As I was walking up to to the taxi my friends husband arrived and kindly took over, he wheeled my mum down to my house, I felt relieved, it feels good when people are kind. I asked him how he knew it was my mum in the taxi and he said that he was at a friends and noticed the taxi parking at the top of the hill, he knew that we would struggle and came over to help.

My mum was sleeping all the way down the drive and continued to sleep when she arrived indoors. I left her. It must have been a good party. The carer arrived and together we changed my mums pad. My children arrived home. I told them to clean their rooms.

I received a call from home care, I missed the call. I called home care back and I was informed that another member of staff had went off sick. Therefore, I might not have a double up of carers for part of the week. It is great that the time is taken to keep me up-to-date with what is happening, as then I can prepare and I know what to expect. The person from the home care office had said she was concerned that my arm and shoulder would become sore again, due to me helping with my mums personal hygiene. She said that she would email me an up-to-date schedule so that I was aware of when I would be required to cover and help with my mums personal hygiene.

It must be an awful job to work out the carers schedule as things change all the time. I am glad it is not me completing the carers schedule, it must be difficult to organise. I wonder if there is an easier way to do it.

I made dinner for everyone and then we ate dinner. The carer arrived and we changed my mum into her pjs. My mum is still sleepy so we put her to bed.

Later, I give my mum a cup of tea. She keeps falling asleep and I keep waking her up. I gave up. I watched TV.

I have received no news regarding my complaint to my local authority, it should hopefully come tomorrow

I went to bed. I woke up through the night, my arm was sore, I struggled to fall back to sleep. I tossed and turned all night. I need my sleep aaaargh!