Yesterday 6th Oct 2015

I woke up at 6.45am. I woke my children and I checked on my mum, she was sound asleep. The children left at 8am. I checked on my mum again, she was still asleep. I decided to start my tummy crunchers and I completed the whole DVD. I was feeling really unmotivated and I found it really difficult to a) do the exercises properly and b) complete the whole DVD. I was delighted that I got through it and I felt great when I had finished.

The carer arrived just after 9am and we woke my mum up, I felt really bad getting her up out of bed this morning as she looked very sleepy, we washed my mum and we dressed my mum, she was quiet throughout the whole process. The carer gave my mum her breakfast and done all the other things that needed to be done with my mum, whilst I got washed and changed. We then put my mum into my car and I drove my mum to the day care centre.

Afterwards I went home. I was still feeling really annoyed about lots of situations surrounding my mum.

1. I have still not heard anything from the discretionary panel regarding the arrears that my mum is supposed to have accumulated, unknown to her, for her transport to the day care centre.
2. I still have not had any positive news stemming from my visit to the local MP regarding the afore-mentioned arrears, the assessed charges for transport to the day care centre, the fact that my mums upheld complaint, from when she went into a care home for 7 days and came out with around 28 bruises, is still not on the care inspectorates website and the fact that my mum cannot apply for a mobility car because she is a pensioner and not in receipt of disability living allowance.

I see black holes everywhere, which allows vulnerable people to be abused. I find it really frustrating that I cannot do anything to stop it from happening. It feels like discrimination, inequality and disjointed services are creating these black holes. Words that spring to mind are:

AGISM – YOU ARE A PENSIONER THEREFORE YOUR TOO OLD FOR A MOBILITY CAR
SOCIAL CLASS DISCRIMINATION – YOU CANNOT RECEIVE LEGAL AID UNLESS YOU CAN PROVE THAT YOU WILL RECEIVE SUBSTANTIAL COMPENSATION – MY MUM CANNOT HOLD A CONVERSATION THEREFORE SHE CANNOT STAND UP IN COURT AND EXPLAIN THE EFFECT HER STAY IN THE CARE HOME HAS HAD ON HER – SHE WILL NOT RECEIVE SUBSTANTIAL COMPENSATION (SO I AM TOLD). SHE WOULD HAVE TO PAY FOR A LEGAL BATTLE WHICH SHE CANNOT AFFORD IT.
INEQUALITY – STAYING IN A RURAL LOCATION MEANS MY MUM HAS TO PAY £56.90 FOR TRANSPORT TO HER DAY CARE CENTRE, OTHERS WHO STAY CLOSER DO NOT HAVE TO PAY THIS (SO I AM TOLD).
DISJOINTED SERVICES – THE CARE INSPECTORATE DOES NOT LIST UPHELD COMPLAINTS FROM VULNERABLE ADULT PROTECTION TEAM INVESTIGATIONS OF CARE HOMES. THIS MEANS CARE HOMES ARE NOT TRANSPARENT AND PEOPLE WOULD NEED TO KNOW THAT THEY WOULD NEED TO CONTACT THEIR LOCAL AUTHORITY AND GAIN INFORMATION VIA THE FREEDOM OF INFORMATION ACT REGARDING UPHELD COMPLAINTS CONNECTED TO THE CARE HOME THEY ARE LOOKING AT – PEOPLE IN GENERAL DO NOT KNOW THIS.

I was feeling angry and frustrated, I felt un-listened too and disappointed.

I also worry about people who are vulnerable. I am happy that my mum has her family around her and she has me too fight her corner – imagine she did not have this? What about the vulnerable people who do not have people looking out for them? – I worry……

Based on this I decided to telephone the European Union to seek advise on raising a case or a complaint. I was advised that before you can lodge a complaint/case that you need to complete all the compliant procedures on a national level. They advised me to call the inequalities services and the minister of health and care ombudsman. I contacted both. The inequalities services are an advisory service and they also advised me to contact the minister of health and care ombudsman. I contacted the minister of health and care ombudsman who said that they did not deal with Scotland and gave me another number to call which was for a Scottish ombudsman. I contacted them and they said that I needed to have a letter from the initial complaint saying, that I now had the option to contact the Scottish ombudsman, if I was not happy with the outcome.

TOTALLY CONFUSED.COM – I have so many complaints about so many different things – where do I start?????

I was also told during one of the above conversations that class discrimination is not written in the law/legislation (or something like that), therefore, no-one can do anything about it – what exactly does that mean?????

I contacted a new lawyer a no win, no fee firm who are now looking into my mums case.

My head was sore and I am wondering if things are deliberately made complicated for a reason, with that reason being that you do not pursue your complaints because you become to confused.

I collect my mum from the day care centre and take her home. The carer helps me bring my mum into my house.

I prepare dinner. I still have a sore head.

We all ate dinner and then the carer arrived and we  washed my mum and changed my mum into her PJ’s. I walked my mum for a while and then sat her in the livingroom.

I then collected my daughter from her vaulting class, she had lots of fun at it. I put my daughters dinner out and then I washed the dishes. I had a bath. I watched TV and then I went to bed feeling totally disheartened.

Yesterday 5th Oct 2015

I woke up at 6.45am. I woke my children.  I checked on my mum, she was awake. I raised her bed and I turned on her television, I also gave her a glass of water. I went back to the children. They left for school at 8am.

I began my morning exercises and I managed to complete my 50 minute tummy crunchers DVD – jeeze! it was hard to get motivated and complete the full 50 minutes – I always feel brilliant afterwards though, it is worth it.

I checked on my mum and she was fine, she was gazing out the window and she was looking quite content. I quickly tidied my children’s bedrooms and made their beds. I then prepared all of my mum’s stuff for her morning shower.

The carer arrives at 9.15am and we showered and dressed my mum. Whilst the carer was feeding my mum her breakfast I continued with my morning routine and I got washed and changed. The carer and I took my mum up to my car and began the normal routine of getting her into my car – it’s a terrible job and I feel so sorry for my mum,, it must be distressing for her, even though she keeps quiet during the whole process. I dropped my mum off at the day care centre, she appears to have lots of fun and activities there – they are a god send and so kind.

I then went home and began cleaning my house and doing the washing. After this was complete I studied, out came my books and notepad and I spent the rest of the afternoon studying, it felt good to be doing something different from my usual routine.

Before I knew it, it was time to leave to collect my mum. I collected my mum and then dropped off some milk and cranberry juice at my friend’s house. This made me late, which meant I was trying my hardest to stay within the speed limit on my way home I was late back, the children were home and the carer was waiting for me. The carer and I got my mum out of my car and into the house.

I began preparing dinner and then we all ate our dinner. My children washed the dishes as I finished feeding my mum. The carer arrived and we washed my mum and put her PJs on.

I decided to study some more……………

Bedtime – I feel nice and relaxed tonight.

Yesterday 4th Oct 2015

I woke up at 9.15am – A ‘long’ lie in for me today – How lucky am I……

I began working on my DIY project. I fixed the hole in the plasterboard, which I accidentally made yesterday, and I began fixing the shelves, I had major problems using the drill as the screws did not want to go in hmmmmmm! what a pain. I stood back and looked at the shelves and I had to think about other ways in which I could have constructed the shelves. I had completed too much to start again. I decided that I needed glue – this would do the trick and anything that wobbled would be fixed on with glue. I was hoping that this would work and the shelves would stay upright – probably not! I am thinking that when I have the money I will buy one of those pre-made shelving units and that this will save me a whole lot of bother. I am hoping that my pre-made shelves will last until then.

My sister leaves early today, she leaves at 10am, as she has something on today at her own home. Her head is still sore, but she thinks that it is beginning to get better. That is good!

I finish off what I am doing with my DIY project and then I put all my tools away. I need to let the glue dry before I do anymore – “thank god”, I am thinking – “an excuse to stop”…..

I walk my mum around the house and then I give everyone their lunch. I iron everyone’s clothes and then begin cleaning out my cupboards.

I changed my mums pad and then we had our dinner.

The carer arrives and we wash my mum and we put her pjs on. We sit my mum in her chair in the livingroom. I spend sometime sorting out my paperwork and attempting to download Windows 10 (total failure), it never worked. I decided to wait until Monday and call the Microsoft help line.

I walk my mum through to her bedroom and then I began the task of putting her to bed. I brush her teeth and then I put my mum’s television on – she looks happy and content.

I then began to sort out all my studying material. It is getting near that time where I have to start studying. I want to be able to go into my next placement with all the relevant knowledge in my head – this will most certainly make it easier for me.

I check on my mum and she is sound asleep. I put off her television and her light. I brush my teeth and go to bed.

Yesterday 3rd Oct 2015

A long lie – heaven.

I woke up at 9am. Yipee!!!! I made a coffee and I went back to bed – I read my book. I hear a lot of hustle and bustle downstairs and I am thinking that maybe I should go down and help, as my sister has a sore head. I popped down and asked my sister if she needed any help, she said, “no”. I went back upstairs and I changed into my outdoor clothes.

The boiler has stopped working – what a nightmare – the house is freezing and we have no hot water. I telephone a local plumber and he said that he would try his best to get out to fix the boiler today.

I try and complete my DIY project. This took me all day and I ended up making a big hole in the plasterboard in my kitchen, I did get some of it done though and I now have a few squinty shelves – I decided to give up and that I would continue with it tomorrow.

The plumber arrived and pressed the reset button on my boiler, I was mortified, the boiler began to work. I apologised with bright red cheeks – what an idiot. The plumber left looking very amused.

I made dinner

The boiler stopped working again. I pressed all of the reset buttons and the boiler remained quiet. My sister and I went online and we tried to find a solution for fixing the boiler – we gave up. I sent the plumber a text describing all the reset buttons that we pressed and asked him if we had missed one out.

No rely – Oh! No!

We sat in the livingroom and watched some television and we chatted about various things. I decided to go to bed early tonight as I still feeling exhausted from the events over the last few days.

Yesterday 2nd Oct 2015

My sister is coming today – whoopee!! I will get a break.

I wake up at 6.45am, I get the children up at 7am, the children leave for school at 8am.

The carer arrives at 8.30am and we get my mum ready for the day. I telephoned the doctors to ask if I should be giving my mum aspirin or if there is anything I can do to prevent my mum from having these mini strokes or TIA’s. The doctor said that someone should come out and check my mum and make sure her pulse rate etc…. is okay.

I cancel my mums day at the day care centre and we wait for the doctor. The doctor arrives at around 12pm. He checks my mum and says that everything appears to be fine. The doctor said that it is possible it was a major TIA or a mini stroke that my mum had yesterday. I explain to the doctor that an MRI scan had been done previously, to assess if my mum was having mini strokes and that it came back inconclusive, as the area of the brain that they check for mini strokes was so badly damaged, due to my mum’s Alzheimer’s, that they could not definitely say whether she had a mini stroke or not.

The doctor said that If my had a reoccurrence of yesterdays event, I could either, call out an ambulance, or I could wait and see if it clears and normalizes by itself. He explained that there is a 2 hour window in which my mum would be able to receive blood clot drugs, therefore, I would have to decide what I wanted to do right away. If I called out an ambulance they would need to take my mum to our nearest hospital, which is around one hour away, and they would need to carry out a CT scan to ensure that my mum had a blood clot in her brain rather than a bleed in her brain, before they gave her blood clot drugs.

My mum and I spent the rest of the afternoon in the garden relaxing, we had lunch and just chilled out all day. I felt drained.

My mum’s keyworker returned a call which I had made to her earlier today, I told my mum’s keyworker about my visit with my local MP. I explained about the situation with my mum over the last couple of days. I said to her that I hoped that all the strain of heaving my mum in and out of my car has not contributed to my mum having the mini stroke (TIA).

My mum has been really healthy over the last few months and it feels like a bit of a coincidence that she falls ill directly after the change in transport routines. I talk to my mum’s keyworker about needing to leave my son in whilst I take my daughter out to her activities etc… and explain that it would be great, if, as a family, we could go out and do things together. My mum’s keyworker said that she could possibly work something into my mums care plan which would allow me to take my children out, I thought that this was a great idea. Obviously this would be based on the availability of funding.

I telephoned my sister and asked her about, whether I should call an ambulance, or not, if our mum had another turn. We both agreed that I should call an ambulance. We spoke about the extent of my mum’s disability now, through having Alzheimer’s disease and we spoke about the long-term effect that a full-blown stroke could have on my mum – it is hard enough for my mum now, never mind, having further disabilities to deal with.

My children arrive home, we all had our dinner – I still felt drained.

The carer arrived and we washed my mum and we put her pj’s on and then I sit my mum on her chair in the livingroom.

My sister arrives, we sit and chat for a while. I go to bed. I am still feeling drained.

Yesterday 1st Oct 2015

Oh! What a day. I wish this day could be eliminated from the week.

I wake up at 6.45am. I wake my children. My children leave at 8am

It is now 9am – I am worrying, just in case, like yesterday, the carer does not arrive until later. I decide to get my mum up. I use the full body hoist and I place my mum on the commode. I leave her on the commode for 30 minutes. Still no carer…….

I went into my mums bedroom to check and see if she had done the toilet. I walked in…… and what a fright I got. My mum had slid down on the commode slightly, her skin colour was grey and her skin was extremely clammy looking, she had fluid dripping from her nose, her left eye was open but looked completely disoriented and her right eye was nearly shut. I rushed over to her, I was thinking, “has she had a stroke”, “should I call an ambulance”, then I think, “do not panic”, “get a glass of water and a tissue for her nose”, “assess the situation”, amongst all of this I am still thinking, “should I call an ambulance”, “test her grip”, “wipe her nose”, and “give her water”, – my head was like a freight train……………..

I wipe my mums nose and I gently talk to her, I give her sips of water and I stroke her head and still I gently talk to her. I try to hold her right hand and I try to move her right hand around my hand, I try to get her to grip my hand, she doesn’t. I give her another sip of water, I continue talking to her. Her nose has still got fluid dripping from it, I wipe it and I continue talking and I still try to hold her hand and I am still thinking should I call an ambulance. All these thoughts – what do I do?

My mum is like this for what felt like around 40 minutes. I looked at my mums face and noticed that the right eye, which had been nearly closed, had went extremely wide, this made my mum look as though she had a fright, on the right hand side of her face. Her other eye, although still a normal shape, still looked disoriented. I stayed with her and stroked her head. Eventually, both eyes normalized and her clammy skin had disappeared, however, she remained grey in colour.

I emptied the commode, which was half full – a major bowel movement. I tried to lift my mum up onto the commode, however, her body was still limp so I could not lift her. I then tried putting the sling for the full body hoist on my mum, this made my mum slip further off the commode. Because of this, I had to manage a controlled fall onto the floor. I felt terrible, worried, anxious and sad.

I lifted my mum from the floor using the full body hoist and placed her back on the commode, she still looked ill. I took her through to the shower and began showering her. I heard a noise, the carer arrived – thank god!

The carer helped me to finish showering my mum, we put on her clothes and then put her in her wheelchair. Although my mum was still grey looking she was beginning to respond better. I decided I would still take my mum to the day care centre. The carer and I hustled and bustled my mum into my car – I was thinking maybe I should have kept her at home……….. I dropped my mum at the day care centre and I explained what happened to my mum this morning and I asked for them to telephone me if they felt my mum needed to go home. The time is 12.00pm

My mum has had similar turns, although, this was the worst one I have seen yet. In the past she has normalized and has managed to function at her normal level.

After I had dropped my mum at the day care centre I went to the local supermarket and picked up a few messages for my friend. I then went to my friends to drop her messages off. It is now 2.00pm

Home time.

I arrived home and cleaned the house, I did not have a lot of time. At 3.15pm I left to collect my mum from the day care centre. They told me that my mum was not great in the morning, however, she perked up in the afternoon and was singing and swinging her arms to music. I was happy to hear this.

I took my mum home and the lady from the private care firm was waiting for me. We get my mum out of the car and take her into the house.

My children arrived home. I needed to rush,as I was taking my daughter to a horse riding lesson and she needed to be there for 4.45pm. I gave my son instructions and explained what happened with his gran that morning, I told him to call me if he was worried about gran and I go over emergency procedures if anything were to happen. I left with m daughter. I was worried. I felt bad. I was running late.

My daughter and I arrived at her horse riding lesson.

I called my son.
I called my son.
I called my son.

My daughter completed her lesson.

My daughter had a disco at her school starting at 7pm, she quickly changed into other clothes and off we went……. we arrived at her school at 6.30pm. I dropped her off and I drove to the local chip shop, I bought my son and my mum a chippy and then I went home. I gave my son his chippy and fed my mum hers. I grabbed a bowl of cereal.

The carer had arrived whilst I was out, so I needed to change my mum myself. I got the standaid out of the shed and I used it to help me, whilst I changed my mum into her pj’s, I put her to bed.

It’s now 9.30pm and it was time for me to go and collect my daughter from her school disco. I collected her and she said that she had, had a lot of fun. We went home and we all went to bed. I slept like a log.

.

Yesterday 30th Sept 2015

Another scorcher today – happy days.

However, my house is a mess and I will need to tidy today – sad days….. (I could tidy it quickly)

I wake up at 6.45am. I check on my mum and she is still asleep. I wake my children………….they go to school, it is 8am. I tidy their rooms and make their beds. I check on my mum and she is still asleep.

It is 9am and the carer has not arrived yet. I wait, I wait, I wait………….. I wait. It is now 9.40am. I decide to get washed and changed.

Still no carer.

I decide to get my mum up and ready for the day and I am hoping that the carer will arrive whilst I am doing this. I go to my garden shed and fetch the full body hoist. I put the sling for the full body hoist on my mum, and attach the full body hoist to the sling. It is hard going and I am roasting hot,  I raise my mum up and take her pyjama bottoms and pad off, this is not an easy task either. I lower my mum onto the commode. I leave her for ten minutes. The telephone rings. It is the carer,  he said that he was running late and that he would not arrive until 10.30am. I explain to him that I had already begun getting my mum ready and I ask him to call before he is due to arrive, as I might have my mum ready by then.

My mum is ready. The carer calls.

I dry my mums hair and I brush her teeth. I give my mum her breakfast and then I clean the house. My mum does not go to the day care centre today which means she can relax at home and watch me hustle and bustle around the house or in the garden.

The sun is shining.  I need to go out. I use the stand aid and transfer my mum from her chair in the livingroom to her wheelchair. I take my mum out into the back garden.

I receive a call from the human rights lawyer that I spoke to at the beginning of the week. He explained that his firm will not be able to deal with my mums case as they do not regularly deal with care home abuse cases. He asked me if he could give my details and the case details to another firm, a firm that they know and who regularly deals with care home abuse cases. I said yes.  I asked if they accepted legal aid cases. He said they did, however, it would be up to them to advise me if they felt my mum would be able to obtain legal aid.

Apparently, to receive legal aid you need to be able to prove that you can win substantial compensation. What is all that about???? To me that is another black hole which allows vulnerable people to be abused, especially those living in poverty, who cannot afford to take action against their abusers.

Everything feels unjust and unfair.

Back to the sunshine, back to my book.

I make lunch and then I feed my mum whilst I feed myself.

I have a missed call from my tutor, I call him back. We have a discussion about my up and coming placement. I asked my tutor what his thoughts are on me not being able to carry out my placement within my own local authority. He explains that sometimes local authorities cannot accommodate placements and he said that this is nothing to worry about. He then spoke about the logistics of me going to another area for my placement and I confirmed that I was willing to do this. He also spoke about balancing my caring role alongside my placement and said that he knew this would be difficult. I explained that I had done this before and that I felt able to do it again.

More sun……. My mum is beginning to look too hot. I stand her up and take her for a walk, I sit her in her wheelchair and I wheel her into the house, I stand her up and walk her to her chair in the livingroom I then I sit her in her chair and switch on the TV.This is not an easy thing to do as you are putting an awful lot of pressure on your back. My mum does nothing to help you during any of these processes, not because she does not want to she just does not know how too.

More sun…….

My children arrive home. I have a doctor’s appointment. I leave my son with his granny and take my daughter with me to the doctors. We collect a chinese meal on the way home. My son and daughter stand my mum up and they then sit her in her wheelchair. We all have dinner in the garden.

The carer arrives at 6pm. We wash my mum and change her into her pj’s. We lie my mum on her bed, on top of her covers as it is really hot, I raise the bed and put on my mums TV.

More sun……..

I do the dishes and then I make my mum a cup of tea. I sit with my mum in her room for a while. My mum is sleepy. It is 8pm. I put her bed into a lying position and leave the room.

I watch television and then go to bed.

Yesterday 29th Sept 2015

I have to say, today has been extremely relaxing, no telephone calls, no headache and no problems.

I went through the usual morning routine, which included my new excercise regime and then I dropped my mum at the day care centre. I had nothing to do. Whoopee! Well! I could have cleaned the house but it was scorching outside so I decided against this.

I visited an older lady I know and I am glad I did, as she was not feeling very well and had no food in her house, as she had been feeling too sick to go out and get her messages. I went to the shop for her and picked up some messages and then I sat and had a chat with her. After this I went home and weeded the vegetable garden and messed about in my greenhouse for a while.

Sunbathing now…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… Sunbathing went on for hours and hours – glorious…………………

I collected my mum from the day care centre and took her home. We were in time for my children arriving home. We all had dinner in the garden and then we relaxed for a while in the garden, we were there until the sun went down.

The carer arrived later tonight,  we washed my mum and put her pj’s on and then we put her straight to bed – she was tired looking.

I read some of my book, put my children to bed and then I went to bed. Today has been the most relaxing day that I have had in a while. LONG MAY IT LAST…………

Yesterday 28th Sept 2015

Today is the day that I have an appointment with my local MP – I wake up – the time is 6.45am.

I am feeling slightly anxious today and I am thinking about all the issues that I need to discuss with my local MP.

“Right”! I tell myself, “get focused and get organised, remain optimistic and keep motivated, don’t wilt and keep yourself going”.

I wake the children and I get their breakfast.

I check on my mum. She is still asleep.

I have a headache today.

The children leave for school. It is 8.05am

I am beginning a new routine today – when my children leave for school, I get a bottle of water and start my DVD – 50 minute ‘tummy crunchers’. I am hoping that I have enough time to complete the DVD and I am hoping that the exercise alongside the water will take my headache away.

The carer arrives at 9am – I have 4 minutes left of my DVD, I shout down the stairs and say that I will be a couple of minutes – I complete the DVD. I am feeling bad, I am holding the carer back.

The carer and I shower my mum and then we dress her. I have a shower and I get changed, whilst the carer gives my mum her breakfast and brushes her hair.

My head is still sore.

I brush my mum’s teeth.

My mum’s keyworker calls – she said that there is a problem, as the carer who comes in the morning needs to leave my house at 10am. We have a discussion about this and my mum’s keyworker said that there is a possibility of a private care firm coming to my house at 10.45am to help me get my mum into my car.

The carer and I take my mum to my car and sit her in the passenger seat. The carer leaves.

I call my mum’s keyworker and explain that the carer who was at my house this morning is going to look at further ways in which they could accommodate my mum in the morning. We also have a discussion around funding towards my car being adapted so that I can easily get my mum into my car.

It is now 10.45, I drive my mum to the day care centre – my head is still sore.

I arrive home at 11.30, my head is still sore, so I go and lie in my bed and close my eyes hoping that my headache will go away. I am not sure if I have slept or not but it is now 12.30 and I need to get up, as I have lots  to do, I need to tidy up and prepare for my meeting with my local MP.

I think about my mum………………..

She has paid into a system all her working life in the hope of securing her future.
She then becomes ill which leaves her extremely vulnerable.
She then becomes old.

and

Instead of my mum being secure and safe throughout her illness and her old age she has become an ineffective human that a system does not seem to care for her adequately..

I think of all the positive words that you see when you read legislation, policies and frameworks. Words that are used are dignity, respect, protecting the vulnerable and inclusion. Then I think about my mum and what part of these four aspects are relevant to her life?

Her vulnerability has left her bordering on living in extreme poverty.
Her vulnerability has left her bruised and degraded through what I see as inhumane treatment in a care home.
Her vulnerability is close to leaving her isolated from her community and isolated from living some form of ‘normal’ life.
Her vulnerability has taken away her dignity and her respect, especially when she is getting bundled and hustled into a car to go to a day care centre.

My mum is like a one year old, she is ‘just’ learning to walk, she is ‘just’ learning to speak and she is at the stage where she still needs nappies and where she needs her mother to feed her. The only difference is that my mum will not develop these skills, she will lose them.

My mum needs the same level of protection as is afforded to children.

My mum needs the same level of care as is afforded to children.

The average life span of a person with advanced Alzheimer’s is 10 years, my mum has had advanced Alzheimer’s for around 3 years now – I want my mum to relish her life in comfort until she can relish it no more – I want her time to be happy and stress free – not affected with negative changes and cutbacks.

As a carer I want to be embraced and protected and thought of as a person with an expert and professional knowledge of caring for someone with Alzheimer’s. I do not want to end up ill and unhealthy, because I am a carer – I am more than that. No training or education can give you the knowledge that I have on Alzheimer’s, legislation and policy, as I have had to embrace it and fight it and I have had to work with it and around it to meet both my mums basic needs and mine.

It is now 1.30pm and I need to leave – it is 2.30pm and I meet my local MP. I explain why I am there and outline my issues. The MP listens intently, takes notes and confirms with me what the issues are – the MP will get back to me.

I drive to the day care centre and I pick up my mum. Myself and the lady from the day care centre hustle and bustle my mum into my car. I am late and I need to rush as my children will be arriving home.

I arrive home, it is 4.15pm, my children are there and the private carer is waiting for me, to help me get my mum out of my car. I apologise to the carer for being late and I explain that I was meeting with the local MP. The carer is extremely understanding and wheels my mum into my house.

Time to begin dinner. We have dinner and now it is study time. I sit with my son and we being the process of study uuurgh! aaargh! painful!!!

The carer arrives at 6pm and we get my mum washed and we put her pj’s on. Back to study. I ask my daughter to make her gran a cup of tea.

Its 9pm. I ask my children to tidy their rooms, as I have had no time today. I ask my daughter to help me with her gran, we walk my mum through to her bedroom, we change her pad and put her to bed.

It is 9.30, I have a cup of tea and watch some TV.

It is 10.30pm time for bed.

Yesterday 27th Sept 2015

I wake up at 8.02am, I check on my mum, she is still asleep.

I make a cup of tea and sit on the sofa and watch the news for a while.

At 8.30am I check on my mum, she is still alseep, she looks very cosy. For the first time in a long time her head is right back lying firmly on her pillow. Normally she does not put her head back on the pillow and you need to pile the pillows up so that her head is touching a soft surface, this makes her head look like it is in a strange angle and it definelty looks uncomfortable.

At 9am the carer arrives, we get my mum on the commode and leave her for 15 minutes. I decide to give my mum a break from having a shower today, we wash her in her bedroom and put her clothes on.

I give my mum breakast which consists of weetabix, toast and jam and a cup of tea. I brush my mum’s teeth and I brush her hair. I wheel her through to the livingroom and stand her up, I take my mum for a walk around my house. A few times my mum tries to sit down and we get into a bit of ‘dance’ to keep her balanced and unright. I then sit her in her seat in the livingroom. My mum is sleepy she falls asleep.

My children wake up, one by one, today they get their own breakfast. It is 11am.

I get myself washed and changed and then I put a washing on. I begin the ironing – what a pile.

My daughter and I go to my friends house to collect her son and daughter, they are coming to mine for a play.

I push my mum’s wheelchair into the kitchen so that she is sitting in the same room as me. I make lunch for everyone. We eat. I feed my mum whilst I feed myself.

I bake some cakes and begin preparing dinner, roast chicken tonight. I chat to my mum, but she does not respond. She is sitting quietly, then laughing, then she says a few words, then she sits quietly, she falls asleep.

I give my mum a cup of tea and a slice of cake and then I take her for a walk around the house. It is a lovely day so I put my mum in her wheelchair and wheel her outside so that she can get some fresh air. My daughter helps me stand her up and sit her down.

I decide to take my mum for a walk and by the time we reach the top of my driveway I feel puffed out. The wheelchair weighs a ton. I ask my daughter and son to help me push the wheelchair up the little hill next to my house, we are all puffed out when we reach the top. I take my mum a short walk and then we go home, it is all down hill now, so it is as easy as pie.

I clean the house and I continue with the ironing. I bring my mum into the house and I put her on the commode, I use the stand aid to do this. After 15 minutes I check on my mum. I decide to put her pjs on and get her ready for bed. I sometimes do this so that I can sit and relax after my dinner, instead of having to get up right away and get her changed. Although I could not do without the carers, it is nice, sometimes, to have this change.

My friends husband picks up their children – off they go – the house is quieter now.

Dinner time, it is 5pm. I feed my mum, whilst I feed myself.

The carer arrives at 6pm, I tell her that my mum has been done.

I walk my mum through to the livingroom and I put her in her chair. I have a bath, it feels great to have a bath in the early evening – a little treat.

By the time I finish it is 8.45pm. I walk my mum through to her room and change her pad. I put her in her wheelchair and put the sling on her. My daughter helps me with the hoist. We put my mum to bed.

I write my blog

Bedtime for me.

I